The Movie Oracle: The Love Guru (2008)

The gods are coming back?

Dionysos, god of wine: Yes, we are! Long ago the gods grew weary of man's problems and "outsourced" our duties to upstart religions. But retirement got boring and now we're turning once again to the mortal realm, and finding it a very different world. Where to begin getting in touch with this new culture? With movies, of course!

Athena, goddess of wisdom: And other things. I look out for social issues, Dio for aesthetics. Apollo goes for the intellectual, Ares for action, Hera for family values, and so on. Each god gives their unique view on today's cinema and society.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Love Guru (2008)

Apollo, god of music: After the ruinous critical reception this movie got, I feel anything I might say would be beating a dead horse. Thumbs down.

Dion ysos, god of wine: What? Come on! Can't anybody take a joke these days? This guru is so cliched and ridiculous, no one could seriously think it represents Indians. And the low brow humor is classic Mike Meyers material that you loved in Wayne's World and Austin Powers. Was I the only one who found this movie hilarious? Thumbs up. Well, Athena, you're up next, so let's have it. Just how bad is The Love Guru?

Athena, goddess of wisdom: On the contrary, I rather enjoyed it. Critics lambasted Meyers for his portrayal of Hinduism, but for the record, the Hindu American Foundation concluded it was not anti-Hindu. But that's not why I like this movie. I like it because it lampoons certain annoying authors. Some are pop gurus, some New Agers, some self-helpers, but they all use clever-sounding phrases to cover up a lack of content. As a goddess of wisdom, it turns my stomach to see substance-less ideas puffed up as real enlightenment. Socrates accused the Sophists of this very crime. For making these authors the butt of the joke, I say to Meyers "good for you." Thumbs up.

Two thumbs up, one thumb down

THE LOVE GURU
The Love Guru follows Guru Pitka (Meyers) as he tries to help floundering hockey star Darren Roanoke (Malco) get his game back. His holiness puts him through a five-point program reminiscent of any number of self-help coaches whose books line today's bookstore shelves. The five points are D.R.A.M.A. (Distraction, Regression, Adjustment, Maturity, and Action). In this way he hopes to help Roanoke go from "nowhere" to "now-here," and learn that "intimacy" is really "into-me-I-see." Deepak Chopra makes a cameo appearance as himself.
Director: Marco Schnabel
Cast: Mike Meyers, Jessica Alba, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Verne Troyer, Stephen Colbert, Justin Timberlake
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 14% fresh
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DID YOU KNOW? The Greeks had a legend that Dionysos, in his young wanderings, made an expedition to India. After this he returned to Greece and introduced his cult of the vine.