The Machine Girl (2008)

Athena, of Victory: Okay, so I struck a deal. In order to get Dionysos to watch Darfur Now, the deal was he could pick a B-movie, any B-movie, as violent and absurd as he wanted. He made me swear on oath on the waters of the river Styx, then he picked this one. One look at the trailer and I flat out refused. But to avoid the Furies that punish oathbreakers, I watched it. There is no reason I should have liked this movie, but somehow... Dio, I think I'm finally starting to get what you see in B-movies. Gods, I can't believing I'm doing this, but... Thumbs up.

Dionysos, of the Bacchic Frenzy: Ah-ha! Indeed, the art of the B-movie is subtle and profound, is it not? It's based on the ancient wisdom of yin and yang. Listen up: that which is extremely yang is so far out of balance that it becomes yin, and rights itself. Likewise, the extremely yin becomes yang. Now violence and gore are yang, and when carried over the top they ruin a movie. But when they are carried far, far over the top, they become yin. The universe balances itself, and the movie becomes good again. Let us meditate on this harmony. Thumbs up.

Apollo, Leader of Muses: So you're leaving me to comment on the movie itself? What do you expect me to say? A pacifist high school girl gets mad fighting skills out of nowhere, carries a gatling gun arm that weighs twice what she does, and goes on a rampage of vengeance--blood spraying everywhere, corny special effects, acting that wreaks of goat cheese... this is your idea of a good film? Gods, get me back to Mount Helicon and my lovely muses! I'll never understand. Thumbs down.


Two thumbs up, one thumb down

THE MACHINE GIRL
A school girl who promised her dead parents never to kill changes her mind when her little brother is killed by ninja yakuza. A murderous rampage of gory, over-the-top violence ensues. Although the special effects are intentionally poor, the film and sound quality is high. There is a certain resemblance to Planet Terror, insofar as bullet-spewing limbs are concerned, but otherwise the movie is quite different. The overall style falls somewhere between Kung Fu Hustle and the Toxic Avenger, but with a lot more blood.
Language: English dub
Director: Noboru Iguchi
Cast: Minase Yashiro, Asami, Ryosuke Kawamura, Kentaro Kishi, Ryoji Okamoto, Kentaro Shimazu, Taro Suwa
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 63% fresh
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