The Movie Oracle: Meet the Spartans (2008)

The gods are coming back?

Dionysos, god of wine: Yes, we are! Long ago the gods grew weary of man's problems and "outsourced" our duties to upstart religions. But retirement got boring and now we're turning once again to the mortal realm, and finding it a very different world. Where to begin getting in touch with this new culture? With movies, of course!

Athena, goddess of wisdom: And other things. I look out for social issues, Dio for aesthetics. Apollo goes for the intellectual, Ares for action, Hera for family values, and so on. Each god gives their unique view on today's cinema and society.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Meet the Spartans (2008)

Apollo, of the oracle: Just one word: unwatchable. Thumbs down.

Athena, the gorgon-crested: It progressed in phases for me. First, I thought it was stupid. Then I started to laugh. Then I laughed a lot. Then I felt like I was giving birth to a Medusa. Then I just thought it was stupid again. Thumbs down.

Dionysos, of the street: What? Come on! You didn't like the Spartans marching to war singing "I Will Survive"? The Yo' Mama battle with the Persians? The... the... Oh, who am I kidding? Despite some good gags, Friedberg and Seltzer don't pull it off. This is one to save for a last resort on silly movie night. Thumbs down.

Three thumbs down

MEET THE SPARTANS
This parody tears up the tore-up Spartan abs of the movie 300. It also parodies a number of other films, from Rocky 3 to Transformers, as well as game shows like American Idol. It was honored with several nominations at the 29th Golden Raspberry Awards: Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actress (Electra), Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel.
Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Cast: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken Davitian, Kevin Sorbo, Diedrich Bader, Method Man, Nicole Parker
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 2% fresh
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get it from

DID YOU KNOW? The Greek cult of heroes developed in no small part due to the war with Persia. It was felt that great heroes of the Iliad, like Achilles and Ajax, fought in the war with them, along with many other heroes of history and legend. After the war, heroes received great honor and were prayed to for protection and healing much like saints in later Catholicism.