GOD OF war, battle lust, courage, fast cars, monster trucks, wrecking balls, explosions, things lit on fire
LOVED The Fast and the Furious. If it screams, rocks, or kicks butt, it's mine.
HATED Babel. Fell asleep within the first five minutes.
TURN-ONS Awesome fireballs, wicked crashes, hot chicks, and guns
TURN-OFFS Foreign movies, subtitles, "artsy" films
MOVIE-MUNCHIES Jumbo popcorn and cheap beer
No, really, I am sensitive! It was tough growin' up with no father. After mom--Hera--conceived me without the help of Zeus, I had no choice but to grow up fast and hard. That's why I'm like this--gangbangin', drag racin', and bustin' heads with a heart of ice. I'm just a mama's boy. Love it or leave it, baby.
My average day? When not wrenchin' on stock car engines or gettin' busy with my girl Aphrodite, I'm boardin' down the Alps, rippin' up the Mojave Desert on a four-wheeler, or base-jumpin' off the Sears Tower. You can try to catch up to me. You can try.
My message to Hollywood? Calling a movie "R-rated" without boobies is false advertising.
Learn about the real Ares at theoi.com.
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